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College Links and Fun Stuff for College

MICHIGAN COLLEGE STUFF - Mostly focused on CMU but anyone is fair game!

Ok, now that I don't work for CMU Police anymore I can finally speak my mind. First, please complain as much as possible about parking and don't accept a BS answer from the Parking Bureau. As students you are the customer and CMU is a Business. Demand to be treated with respect as any customer deserves.
 
Second, please remember that the Dispatchers on the phone and Officers on  the road are only able of enforcing parking. They are not responsible for making Parking Rules or setting the parking designations.
 
Third, be thankful as Freshman that you can even have a car on campus - even if you have to park a few blocks away. Many of us Alumni didn't have that luxury when we where kids....

CONSTRUCTION ZONE - WET PAINT

Hey CMU Students!!! Tired of getting the run-a-round when you're trying to get your parking permit?

If you are then pay attention and read this:

#1 All cars parking on the campus of Central Michigan University must be registered with the CMU Police Department. This means you must have a valid permit to park anywhere on campus (except meters)

#2 Parking Regulations are in effect from 2 A.M. until 4 P.M. This means that you may park in any Student Lot on campus between 4 p.m. and 2 a.m. with out having to worry about what permit you have or if you have one at all.

#3 There is NO OVERNIGHT parking in the Commuter or Faculty Lots! No exceptions given for vehicles with Student Permits.

#4 If your car breaks down on campus, notify the CMU Police Department to avoid getting a ticket if it is parked in the wrong lot or if it will be parked in a lot longer than allowed by CMU parking regulations. You will be allowed an extension of 4 hours to get the vehicle moved to the proper area (Lot for your permit or Off Campus). You must have your information in the "Disabled Vehicle" book in Dispatch in order to have tickets voided.

#5 Parking tickets can be paid in person at the CMU Police Parking Bureau or at the Student Service Court in the Bovee University Center during their business hours. The ticket and payment can also be placed in one of the yellow "Fine-O-Meter" boxes at any time (day or night). They are located at the University Center, Rowe Hall, Hopkins Court, Lot 10 near Warriner Hall, and the CMU Police Department. Payment may also be sealed in the ticket itself, which is also an envelope, and placed in the U. S. Mail with the proper postage affixed to the address side of the ticket.

CMU Parking Bureau Hours
Monday to Friday 7:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
(closed holidays)

CMU Parking Bureau Telephone
(517) 774-3083

NOTE: If you have questions about parking then you need to contact the Parking Bureau during their hours. If you call other than during these times, you will get a recording. Unless you need a Temporary or Visitors pass do not the Police Department (3081) about parking - they will only refer you to contact the Parking Bureau the next business day.

Congradulations to Captain Ron Williams on his RETIREMENT from the CMU Police Department. Its time for new leadership and the Department will be better in the long run - too bad you waited so long but I know you will enjoy yourself. FYI the casino is still hiring Security Officers if you're not ready to live the easy life..................................

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How Many College Students does it take to Screw (in a Lightbulb)?

UNIVERISTY OF MICHIGAN (Ann Arbor) -- Two, 1 to do it and the other to brag about how they can do it as well if not better than those Ivy League folks could!

MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY (East Lansing) -- 2,000 Minimum. One to change the Lightbulb and the remaining masses to riot and light everything on fire - then brag to the media about doing it!

GRAND VALLEY STATE UNIVERSITY (Allendale) -- Ten, 1 to do it while the other nine sit around and watch out of pure boredom of having nothing else to do!

WAYNE STATE UNIVERSITY (Detroit) -- None, no funding for Security Locks so someone stole them all.

FERRIS STATE UNIVERSITY (Big Rapids) -- Also Zero Here, Everyone is either Too Drunk to climb the ladder, Too Hung over to think about it, Home or at Library to avoid the Drunks, or going to CMU to Party! (Love the M-20 Drunk Driving Challenge at 3 a.m. - hi there Deputy Bliss/ISSH)

EASTERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY (Ypsilanti) -- Four, 1 to change the Lightbulb, 1 to steal the lightbulb from Meijers, 1 to look out for security or EMU Police, and one to drive the Getaway car.

CENTRAL MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY (Mount Pleasant) -- A Dozen or so! Two to screw it (the lightbulb that is) in, 8 to throw a party about it, 2 or so to stumble by and start a fight (usually visiting MSU kids).

WESTERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY (Kalamazoo) -- 2 Dozen! 2 to figure out how to do it, 1 to Read the Instructions and Supervise, 3 to keep the RA staff busy (setting Arson to other dorms) and the rest to find lamp shades ugly enough to match their school colors.

OAKLAND UNIVERSITY (Detroit) -- Lightbulbs - they can't even afford a Football Team. Hmmm maybe they have priorities straight here AKA: Education = Academics???? nah someone stole the lights there too!

NORTHERN MICHIGAN (Houghton in da U.P eh!) -- Three, 1 to strap on the nordic ski's and go into town to buy a light bulb, the other 2 to take advantage of each other back in the long period of darkness (they say there just trying to stay alive and warm - Right).

MICHIGAN TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY (Some where in da U.P. eh)
-- Twenty, 1 to change the lightbulb and 19 others to engineer a better way to do it.

SAGINAW VALLEY STATE UNIVERISTY (Saginaw???) - Five, 1 to bring the dope, 4 to smoke it while they imagine they screwed it in. Besides isn't that what a Blacklite and all that ICP Glow in the Dark posters are for?

HILLSDALE COLLEGE (or other affluent private school) None, they will just as Mommy and Daddy to get a sub-contractor to replace it for them.

Got your own college funnies that you wouldn't mind sharing here??? Click the "Click-Mail" below to send them on to me.

"Click-Mail"

HOW TO SAY "I Love You" IN OTHER COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD

ENGLISH ..................... I love you!
SPANISH ..................... Te Amo
FRENCH ...................... Je T'aime
GERMAN ...................... Ich Liber Dich
JAPANESE .................... Ai Shite Imasu
CHINESE ..................... Wo Ai Ni
SWEDISH ..................... Jag Alskar Dig
DUTCH ....................... Ik Van Hou Jeg
TEXAN ....................... Nice Tits!!!!

DIM BULB JOKES

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: One, but the Light Bulb really has to want to change first.

Q: How many Computer Softare Programers does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: None thats a Hardware problem.

Q: How many Football Players (High School or Collegiate) does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: The whole Team! And they all get a semesters Credit for it too boot!

Q: How many Poets (or English Majors) does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: Four, one to lament about the life of the burnt out bulb, one to curse the darkness, one to light a candle, and one to actually change the bulb.

Q: How many MacIntosh/Apple Users does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: None, you have to replace the whole Mother Board - but they can do it quicker than the rest

Education Info

Got Questions about stuff for College like Financial Aid and stuff? Click on the Logo and see what the Department of Education can tell you. They are the ones who set the rules on a lot of stuff. Check their site out....

Student Info and Answers

This site has tons of information on it from the U.S. gov't and its all about issues that affect College Students. Stop in and atleast look at the home page - I think you will be surprised at how much help is available.

Financial Aid ONLINE!!!

Click on the FAFSA Logo and you'll be able to complete the necessary steps to receive Financial Aid - the easy way! No waiting in lines, holding on phone, or making extra appointments. This is the basic first step you need to take.

Links to Other Colleges

Click the logo and go to the Home Page

Central Michigan University

Ferris State University

THE U of M

Northern Michigan University - Marquette U.P.

GVSU - Allendale MI!

Michigan State

Eastern Michigan Univeristy

Saginaw Valley State University

Michigan Tech!!

Hope College -

Alma College Scots!

Western Michigan University

Yes there really is a Kalamazoo!!

Am I missing a School? Send me the Art and the Link and I will correct that right away?

Financial Funnies.......

We all have been guilty of going to the "Money God" (ATM) and being rejected by a machine in our moment of dire need. Hopefully none of this is too familiar...

-- You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says, "Not worth wasting paper" and spits out your card.

-- You attempt to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says, "Account Not Found" and keeps your card.

-- It's Early Friday night you've already blown most your cash at the first bar getting the attention of the Person (guy or gal) of your dreams. Everyone wants to go to another club, including "the person" so you hop over to the Money God so you can continue the trek to heaven, you insert your card, key your PIN, and the screen says, "No Balance Found - Sorry Sucker", and spits out your card. Rejected by an Machine, Rejected by the person of your dreams, oh only if you had those Ramen Noodles instead of Denny's!!!

All links to Schools are the serious side of this page, info on parking at CMU a personal soapbox (but accurate), and the rest is meant for pure fun!